Subject There's no way out, but there is a way through.
To the daughter who's suddenly faced with carrying your mom through a storm. I'm almost a year out from her passing.
My mom and I were best of friends. I was 15 weeks pregnant and also had a toddler. She suddenly became ill and was diagnosed with Glioblastoma. Life was already so busy and so full, and now I felt like I was becoming her mom too.
I look back and realize how hard that all was, and how life felt surreal for so long. If you're in the thick of it now, I'm here to recognize that this is brutal, it's enormous, and it's exhausting. For you, for her, for everyone around you.
You're already sick with worry, anticipatory grief starts consuming you, and if you're pregnant, an added layer that is impossible to describe.
Being on this side of it now, I have learned that there's no way out, but there is a way through. The physical and emotional toll can push you to limits you didn't know you had, and it will also force you to view life differently forever.
Throughout this experience I realized how much of a privilege it was to care for her through this, especially as I was creating new life. In a crazy way, I felt the most love and warmth from her and everyone around us I'd ever felt. My baby got to feel that too.
The gratitude for even having the relationship I had with her came to the forefront, and I'm so proud of being there to shepherd her through the cancer and the end of her life.
I encourage you to take care of yourself when you can, whatever that looks like, and try to lean into love, honor, and time with your person. If you're a caregiver for her, she is the luckiest, you are the luckiest, and despite the heartbreak, it can be a beautiful thing.
Angeline · daughter · her mother, glioblastoma · almost a year out